We woke up to the news of a girl found dead in her hostel room in Orissa. The news hit the headlines not because there was a case of harassment but rather the University made racist comments because the girl was from Nepal. The university rather than investigating the case, hurled racist abuses at teh students as they weren’t indians and threw them out of the university. The headline which caught my eye was on news18 which praised the ruling party and the student wing of the ruling party in averting a diplomatic row. The small publicity piece moonlighting as a headline is below.

The case begs a bigger question though. There is a puported audio clip between the girl and her alleged boyfriend which is laced with expletives and the girl could be heard crying. It made me ponder that why are men from this generation specially prone to abusing women like this. I am not saying men from my generation were any better, but somehow I always felt our generation was much more physical than verbal. Again, that doesn’t make men from any generation better. Physical or verbal, abuse is terrible. The abuse stems from the fact that men feel entitled despite all the talk of equality.
Then I started pondering the role of popular culture in shaping us. For example, the movies Animal and Kabir Singh which were humongous hits or people like Andrew Tates of the world enjoy success. I have watched both the movies in question and have defended them by saying we should keep reality separate from fiction but over time I have realised they do impact us. Growing up reading NSFW blogs or stories, I came across stories where there were stories of women getting groped in public places and women getting excited. Over time I realised the blogs were written mostly by men masquerading as females. Because when I talked to women, not a single woman in my life has ever said they ‘enjoyed’ groping in public by unknown people.
Then it brings me to the next point. A few months ago we saw huge protests in Bengal and many other places over the R G Kar rape incident. The people demanded women’s safety. It all sounds very hollow now. There is to say the least no outrage over this case. The main reason is this happened in one of the non-metro places and this is a case of an abusive relationship. But the outrage is needed because as men we lack the sensitivity. If men had been ‘educated’ well enough by parents and the schools then things wouldn’t have been like this. I feel sad about what legacy or society have we created? Despite access to information, calling this a ‘woke’ generation all we have achieved is more projection of toxic masculinity than ever.
I have no idea how we are going to change as a society, but somehow, the lack of fear from both the state and society has emboldened the men more. Toxic behavior is still endorsed by the majority, and I think I need to change, too, by stopping watching movies like Animal and Kabir Singh, for starters.






